I’m auditing Stacy’s Library of Memories Class over at Big Picture Scrapbooking and I’m loving it for the second year in a row. I’m still hampered by my pronator syndrome but it’s not keeping me from looking back and discovering wonderful connections in my photograph drawers and scrapbooking them.

These 2 lay-outs represent life-long trends for my daughter, Lauren. The first commemorates her relationship with her soulmate buddy, Ben. They’ve been good friends since birth and early on agreed to go to their senior prom together. As you can see, they did! The second lay-out shows Lauren’s learning-to-crawl dilemma: “To do or not to do…” which has represented her approach to decision-making all 25 years of her life. (She would have me say that she is getting better, though.)

I would highly recommend that you look through your own pix for some things in life that have never changed. It’s fun and can even be reassuring.

I’ve been wearing a sweater the last few days and thinking about stew.

It’s actually been awhile since I’ve thought seriously about cooking. First came my self-imposed moratorium when the kids left for college, and the last year I’ve been in too much pain with my arm to be able to chop anything. But the urge has returned and we decided to invest in a new crockpot. The slow-cooker industry has evidently changed alot in the past ten years – new shapes and sizes and cleaner-friendly elements.

We chose the Hamilton Beach 3-in-one model and are delighted with it. The three different sizes of nesting cooking pots (with one lid fitting all three) is very convenient. I especially enjoyed being able to go on-line and read product reviews for slow-cookers which was something that was less convenient to do back in the age of printed Consumer Reports Magazine.

It’s fun to be back. And I do enjoy cooking with Roy. It seems that he’s more willing to try new things when we can share the responsibility for screwing up.

I haven’t felt this excited since art class in elementary school. Remember those little pottery ashtrays you could make in a portable kiln? Or maybe it was in junior high art class when I created a stained glass window out of black construction paper and colorful tissue.

I just FINISHED an art project. I don’t know whether it’s been because of the improvement in my arm, but I paced myself and finished an ART project. I’ve heard artists talk about the thrill of their creations but somewhere during my early school years, I started comparing my work to that of other students and stopped believing that I could create art.

Intellectually I knew that this was hog-wash, but my self-conscious self accepted that it was truth and I no longer tried to do the kinds of projects that had given me so much pleasure as a kid. Until now. And I’m beside myself. I want to acknowledge the people I know who have written about the fact that all of us can produce art; all of that inspiration certainly helped bring me back to me.

It may not seem like much, but this is the first project I’ve attempted since last May. My carpal tunnel/pronation syndrome has improved enough to give it a go and I’m delighted. I can even do a little journaling by hand!

I never knew I could miss my arm so much, especially being able to write comfortably with a pen. It’s amazing what you take for granted. Over the years I’ve filled dozens of journals with personal entries and notes and quotes taken from my favorite books. This past year I just couldn’t manage it. After the first few months I was able to type, but interestingly I had trouble with note-taking on the computer. Somehow I had developed a style of “reading meditation” where the book and pen and journal came together as more than the sum of their parts.

Scrapbooking does the same for me. I process thoughts and feelings in a unique way when I’m in a physical creative-mode. It’s almost as though I’m writing, but with the opposite hand. I’m accessing parts of me that I longed for when I wasn’t able to do it. Do you know what I mean?

I’m also finishing up a re-positioning of my latest book proposal. I had put it aside for a while in frustration, but the juices are flowing again and I’m pleased with the results.

Chronic pain is very difficult to deal with, and my heart goes out to those who have not yet been able to find a way to manage theirs. Although I’m not totally back to normal yet (I still have numbness in one finger), I no longer think of myself as a patient. I’m so grateful for the improvement with which I’ve been blessed.

Spring out back

It’s going on a year now, and finally I’m seeing the beginning of the end of my arm pain and finger numbness. Yes! I went back to PT after a 3 month absence and Mark was delighted with my progress. Now we just have to focus on “gliding” the nerve in my forearm. I didn’t know nerves could glide but apparently it’s important that they be able to do that. How wonderful it will be to be able to hand-journal again!

Courtesy of Brit.

It’s good to be “back”. Receiving such a promising prognosis from Monday’s trip to the doctor both surprised and energized me. I hadn’t realized it, but I was thinking of myself as a “condition” rather than a person. Fearing that I’d never be in less pain than I’ve been in during the past 8 months I unintentionally grounded myself in order to keep things manageable.

Now I’m experiencing lift-off again.

I’ve been longing to soar — especially as far as my writing is concerned. With lift-off, I can see how much I’ve been holding myself back. I’m now re-positioning my book to better reflect where I am at the moment and it’s fun!

Are you waiting for permission to take-off? I know I was.

Well, I hereby give it to you. Jump up and let the wind take you where you really want to go.

News in the Ongoing Arm Saga: We (finally) made it up to Flagstaff and I saw a new doctor who was very encouraging. There doesn’t appear to be any permanent nerve damage, and no recommendation for surgery at this time. Now they’re calling it “pronator syndrome” and are sending me back to PT for continued treatment and traction that should ultimately relieve the numbness in my fingers.

I’ll take it.

Unfortunately, there isn’t one. 

This past January 7th I was supposed to see the “non-surgical” neck doctor for an evaluation. Well, it snowed that day up in Flagstaff which is about 40 minutes north of Sedona and 10 degrees colder, and the road we needed to travel on was closed. Fast forward one month to the next scheduled appointment, February 4th. Second snowstorm, second cancellation. This is in Arizona, mind you.

I’m scheduled again for February 18th. What are the odds…

Never mind. 

P.S. I’m basically functioning, but still have the numb finger. I’m grateful for the improvement and hope for future days without having to work around this pain.

I enjoyed some marvelous chai tea this afternoon. 

I’m feeling rather creative today, which is delightful considering how lousy I felt the last time I was in Brevard. Back in the summer, I was in constant pain with my arm and didn’t experience much in the creativity department. But even after a day of travel yesterday that included 2 hours of driving through heavy rain and pea-soup fog, I’m now rested enough to actually daydream about new endeavors.

It’s good to return to the east coast, where trees look like they’re supposed to in the winter — i.e, nude. I can see the little creek out back through the branches, still bubbling along, welcoming me back. I’m looking forward to a productive week of brain-storming before we go into travel-mode again.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” — Thoreau

In this picture you can’t tell if winter is coming or going, and that’s the way I feel this week.

We leave for Brevard, NC on Saturday and I’m doing the last-minute things one does before a trip. Except this trip involves multiple comings and goings from Brevard and it reminds me of that 60′s movie, “If This Is Tuesday, It Must Be Belgium”. This is my first experience with the going-home-to-see-your-family-for-the-holidays logistics and I get tired just reading our itinerary. But we do want to see everyone, even if it means driving up and down the eastern seaboard in blizzards. (Just kidding!)

I will make every attempt to blog the trip, once again hoping that my arm holds out in the cold/damp. At least I’ve improved dramatically since my last stay during the summer. My only request, after this marathon visit, is that you all come out to see us next!