Your Growing Edge
The directions sounded simple enough:
- Download Quicktime
- Attach a microphone to your computer.
But I was already beyond nervous. I was ready to record the audios for my first on-line scrapbooking class and I was reacting with my familiar math anxiety (i.e., if you see anything remotely related to numbers or technical instructions, run the other way). Running away, however, was not an option because I very much wanted to teach this class.
Complicating matters, nothing seemed straightforward. Downloading Quicktime: Did I want the free version or would it be better to buy something with more bells and whistles? Attach a microphone: I didn’t have a microphone. What kind should I get? I pondered, and asked for advice, and then decided to straighten my office (translated: run the other way).
The clock ticked down and the deadline for submission moved nearer. I downloaded Quicktime and ordered a microphone. I plugged in the microphone. I read the next set of instructions:
- When you open up Quicktime, select “New Audio Recording” under the file menu. OK, check.
- When the window opens up, click on the red button and start talking. Unfortunately, there is no way to pause, and no way to edit on this free program. WHAT?
I was horrified. Were they saying that I had to speak for 5 or 10 minutes with no opportunity to edit as I went along? No way. I started to argue with the instructions and then realized that the clock was still ticking and that I had five audios to record.
I began. And began again. And again. And again. It took 15 tries before I could take the leap and go for a whole recording. The second one was easier, as were the 3rd and 4th and 5th. I only had to re-record one of them. I was exhausted, but absolutely triumphant. I had conquered technology.
I am not the biggest fan of change. That may be because I’m a Cancer/Moon Child or just because I get real comfortable in routines and familiar ways of doing things. Change, however, has become the rallying cry of this time in our history and I do realize, for myself, that change is where all significant growth takes place.
So I’ve opted to live on my growing edge, wherever that takes me. As of the moment, it looks like it’s taking me back to re-visit some old phobias and self-imposed limitations. I’m acutely aware these days that I’m constantly being presented with opportunities to move forward, if I choose to do so. There is no shortage of challenges.
I like what Neale Donald Walsh has to say about these kinds of challenges and how to approach them:
- Observe what is so.
- Observe what you think about what is so.
- Then ask yourself, “Why am I thinking that?”
- And more important, “What would happen if I thought something else?”
It’s interesting to experiment with new ways of thinking, and I enjoy the process of turning assumptions on their heads. In the technology example, I would say this:
1. Observe what is so
- There is new technology to master
2. Observe what you think about what is so.
- I have trouble learning this stuff. It makes me feel stupid.
3. Ask yourself, “Why am I thinking that?”
- I accepted years ago that this doesn’t come easily to me and so I try to avoid it in order not to feel stupid.
4. “What would happen if I thought something else?”
- If I stopped worrying about feeling stupid, I could use that energy to learn what I want to know
I think that a limitation is only a limitation if I believe it’s so. I will work on this one because there’s a wonderful world of technology out there that I’d love to know more about. And I need to learn more about it in order to do some of the things I want to do.
That’s not saying it will be easy. I have a very long-standing habit of letting this fear control what I attempt to do. But that’s what a growing edge is for. If I acknowledge that there is a certain level of discomfort in having a growing edge, and that I need to be patient, self-loving and above all have a sense of humor, I can deal with this as I’ve dealt with so many other challenges in my life. I need to remember how far I’ve come.
Your growing edge is your future. It’s where your creativity lives and flourishes and everyone can benefit from learning how to surf those waves of change and ride the exhilarating edge.
